The part where I talk about my dog

I took Colby to be groomed a few weeks ago and, apropos of my habit of getting excited by trivial triumphs, I was thrilled to see my groomer put his picture on their Facebook page. This does not mean that I have now developed a fondness for Facebook which is generally a perplexing and incredibly annoying white noise system to me. "X doesn't like rude people." "Y is glad when it will stop raining." "Z just took a dump." 5 people liked this.

I digress. Some facts about my dog: he's from the pound, he has epilepsy which means the vet starts contemplating how early he'll be paying off his school loans every time I call, despite a predilection for eating his own poo (and duck poo-he really likes duck poo) he's a picky eater, he recently learned to drum on me with his paw when he wants attention, he won't poop unless he has walked for 20-30 minutes, he doesn't like to pee in the snow, he cries about everything, his fur is like a Swiffer to mud, grass and leaves and he really likes the hair dryer so while I'm still getting it out of the bathroom cabinet he's already jumping around and wanting me to dry him (not "blow" him as my friend Crystal inevitably calls it. Nothing like a good bestiality joke at my expense.) So he's pretty fucking annoying. It's a good thing he also is stuffed animal cute.

 

Isn't this a shitty picture? I got it off of Facebook and had to resize it.  I have thus far in life avoided the perils of Photoshop. Maybe that'll be the new task I tackle one day. 

Until then, here's a better picture-one of my favorites: