(I'm not much a fan of the old school Gonzo journalists and P.J. can be too Republican and assy for my taste but it's a good quote to bust out.)
What's interesting about Liberty thus far is that you may know the standard prohibitions- no drinking, strict curfew, no opposite sex visitors in your room, no baby making without a marriage license. But it gets more North Korean than that: your email and internet traffic are monitored, students are not allowed to participate in non-sanctioned demonstrations or protests on campus, if a girl has an abortion (not sure if at Liberty or ever) she'll have to pay a fine and face expulsion, and you can get fined for cursing like in fucking Demolition Man. Well, outside parts of the Rocky canon that at least is one of the superior Stallone flicks. And there are pictures of
The easiest way to stand out as being a non-Christian is profanity. Kevin got visible gasps and the stink eye for accidently saying "Holy shit" once at the dinner table-rookie error. I guess I could tolerate this rule easier if the liberal use of "fag" and "queer" were not in turn acceptable as insults. I know lots of guys talk this way and I know lots of guys that do talk this way and you know, whatever, but given Liberty's aggressive anti-homosexual agenda, it is sick-making. Persecution of your fellow man is jim dandy but don't talk about doody that way. Holy shit indeed.
I went to a pre-college program for students considering medical careers at the University of Louisville the summer before college and somehow ended up with the only fundamentalist Christian in the group. She was the homeschooled child of missionaries in Brazil-seriously. Needless to say, we tried but weren't destined to be besties and I think she harbored unchristian hatred toward me by the end. She threw a colossal fit when I used crude language one evening (I called her a cuntwagon as a term of endearment. No, just kidding. I used "Hell" as an invective.) She was amped about heading off to some bible college in Tennessee. One of my friends and I read her college catalog and were stunned at the rules: no hand holding, no short hair on women and no gossip are all I can recall. Despite having grown up in rural Kentucky and being forced to attend St. Farty's Elementary, I magically had never come across the Christian fundie culture.
(honestly, some of her dislike for me was my fault. One night I got high with one of the RA's and a campus security guard and we ate her box of Little Debbie Oatmeal pies. The kind with the cream filling? Fucking delicious.)
Kevin also has to attend a creation science class. Say, ever wonder how there was enough food on Noah's Ark? The dude who teaches his class-and who repeatedly has to remind them he's a "real" scientist, just like I'm a real runway model-knows how. Ready? Estivation. That's right. Apparently only mollusks, reptiles and amphibians were on the Ark. Oh, and the Malagasy fat-tailed dwarf lemur. Well, the makes the space issue substantially less thorny now. Maybe that story is true after all.
It's such an odd dichotomy. The author says this is the friendliest college campus he's ever been on. People go out of their way to introduce themselves and seem genuinely concerned for one another's well-being. They constantly ask strangely intrusive questions like are you saved and how often do you read your Bible (they call this "Devotions" evidently. You never know when this odd bit of trivia might come in useful.) But, they just want to make sure you are not hellbound. It's kind of sweet. In fact, if that was where it ended with people just caring about their fellow man, this brand of religion might not be a bad thing. But what would become of their feelings toward Kevin if he were gay (or he told them he had gay aunts-which, he does.) Or he supported one of his female classmates in getting an abortion. Or if he tried to tell them that only lemurs and salamanders were on Noah's Ark. Or myriad other transgressions. I'm glad it's a well-balanced book and some of his fellow students seem likable. But as the author says, the weird Orwellian atmosphere with its dark undercurrents of repression, intellectual antagonism and hate make it impossible to feel comfortable on campus for more than a few hours. Not to mention the pictures of Jerry fucking Falwell everywhere. I wonder if there are even more now that he's participating in the carbon recycling process at a deeper level now.
BTW, Kevin Roose has a fine website where I took a sample Liberty quiz and apparently am "wiser than Solomon."
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